Discord funny moments

Sometimes, people say funny things on Discord. Given that links last either forever or a year (whichever comes first), i have elected to host some of my favourites here. All names have been anonymised; my "anonymised" handle here is <dearestDionysian>.

(12019.10.31)
<ascendedAphrodite> lib dems are bad in bed
<ascendedAphrodite> 'i just had a satisfying sexual encounter with a lib dem' - literally nobody, ever

(12019.06.23)
<beardedBacchus> Can you present me with a reasoned critique instead of just saying "why are you wrong"?
<callousCapricorn> No

(12019.03.29)
<dearestDionysian> fuckin finally, boymode again
<dearestDionysian> i was in girlmode for so long i was actually getting kinda stressed about whether i was actually just a trans woman
<empressEuterpe> your gender fluid temporarily froze into a gender solid

(12019.06.23)

Context: This took place on a British parliamentary roleplay server, during a discussion in PMQs on the topic of throwing milkshakes at people.
<beardedBacchus> was leader of the opposition, <floridFaunus> was prime minister, and <garishGanymede> was deputy leader of the opposition.

<floridFaunus> Mx. Speaker this is "slippery slope" fearmongering. Protestors independently yeeting milkshakes at public political figures is not going to lead to systematic, violent voter supression. I simply believe that politicians, especially those in high office such as myself, should not be coddled from people's opinions but should face their criticism and protest willingly and regularly, no matter what form that takes.
<garishGanymede> May I suggest as a compromise, Mx. Speaker, that there be a differentiation between milkshakes for drinking and milkshakes for, as the Prime Minister says, eating?

he mistook "yeeting" for "eating"

<garishGanymede> Perhaps the latter could be more solid so as to be eaten with a fork. Then again, we are not the Culinary Institute of Britain, so surely we should leave this up to a more proper authority on this matter.
<beardedBacchus> Mx. Speaker, after the day’s proceedings are over, I would be delighted to introduce to the Deputy Leader of the Opposition the concept of ice cream.
<garishGanymede> I am concerned at this implication that the Leader of the Opposition eats ice cream with a fork.

(12018.11.26)

Context: This was in a server's approval channel soon after its creation

<headstrongHestia> yeah you need to re-verify yourself
<headstrongHestia> 1. how did you find the server
<headstrongHestia> 2. what pronouns do you use
<innocentIcarus> I was invited by someone from <person>'s server. I refer to people by him or her based on what gender they identify, if you want to be called by a different pronoun I am fine by that too.
<headstrongHestia> no
<headstrongHestia> i mean
<headstrongHestia> what pronouns do you go by
<innocentIcarus> Oh he or him
<jeeringJuno> lmao
<headstrongHestia> welcome in
<jeeringJuno> thats really funny honestly
<jeeringJuno> "what pronouns do you use" "all of them, depending on who or what i am speaking about 😎"

(12020.04.11)
<kindheartedKerberos> I would like to kindly remind people that I am not frying goats with lightening, nor do I ever intend to because they explode.
<dearestDionysian> How would you know this, Kerberos?
<dearestDionysian> Would you like to tell the class?

(12019.04.09)
<callousCapricorn> But here's the thing
<callousCapricorn> What's perfect differs from person to person
<callousCapricorn> Like one man's hell is another man's pleasure dungeon and all
<callousCapricorn> IDK if I'm making sense
<luminescentLaomedon> Please don't say pleasure dungeon
<mercurialMorpheus> Dungeon of carnal desires?

(12019.03.27)
<nauseatedNereus> now now ganymede, you know you can't bring guns to school unless you bring enough to share with the whole class

(12020.03.17)
<obfuscatedOrpheus> okay but props to belgium for being so evenly split down the middle
<callousCapricorn> Yea orpheus jokes are usually split into parts

(12020.06.17)
<dearestDionysian> it's a world heritage site though
<persnicketyPersephone> perfect. free real estate

Page created: 12020.04.01
Last updated: 12020.06.17

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